Tuesday, October 22, 2013

World Series Preview

The World Series starts tomorrow night, and while I have zero rooting interest, being a baseball blog, I figured we should give you a bit of preview for what you'll see for the Fall Classic and what you should watch for.  This World Series will be remembered as the clash of the insufferable fan bases (Calling yourselves the best fans in baseball doesn't make it so.  We get it, the whole city loves the Cardinals, but that's just because it is literally the only thing to do in that terrible city), so get ready to hear the flocks of annoying fans boast about how their team is best.  Here are my 10 things to look for:

1. Every Cardinals prospect seems to work out.  Look at this roster, and you'll see it littered with guys you've never heard of that the Cardinals get the most out of.  David Freese, Matt Adams, Matt Carpenter, Michael Wacha, Yadier Molina, Carlos Martinez, Trevor Rosenthal, Kevin Siegrist and the list goes on and on.  And they wonder why everyone hates them??? (Yes we know it's mostly jealousy)

2. Tim McCarver's final World Series as a broadcaster.  THANK GOD!!!  McCarver is bad enough as it is, but his rampant homerism is unwatchable when his beloved Cardinals are involved.

3. The Cardinals high socks are really cool.  For as much as I hate this team (Can't you tell??), their high socks are probably the best in baseball.  I don't even know if any current players opt for the high socks look, but if they don't, that's a travesty as they are delightfully old school.

4. Enjoy Carlos Beltran's playoff greatness while you can.  Carlos Beltran has been one hell of a player throughout his career, but he is even better in the playoffs.  The performances he has put up are staggering over the years.  Beltran is probably one of the best playoff performers of all time, so simply enjoy his playoff success while he's still around, as he is closing in on the end of his career.

5. Matt Holliday playing defense in left field in Boston.  Holliday is one of the most laughable defensive outfielders in the game.  Some of the plays I've seen him make over the years are among the funniest I've ever seen.  Throw in one of the toughest left fields to play in the big leagues and there is sure to be some shenanigans.  Partner that with Jon Jay's terrible routes in center field and any ball hit to left or left center could be an adventure.

6. The Red Sox have bushy beards.  This is probably the easiest thing to notice, but the Red Sox roster looks like some sort of combination of Tom Hanks from Castaway and the Peter from that episode of Family Guy.  I wonder if they have birds living in their beards as well?? They seem to like the look, but has anyone told these guys that it isn't November yet??

7. Koji Uehera is good.  The ageless Japanese closer has been dominant throughout the playoffs.  Seriously, how does anyone hit this guys' splitter???  Uehara could very well be the difference in this series, as John Farrell has not been hesitant to use him for more than 3 outs.

8. Some Red Sox can make themselves some serious money with good World Series performances.  Pending free agents include Mike Napoli, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Jarrod Saltamacchia, and with a huge World Series, these guys could earn themselves some healthy contracts.  All 3 have had good years, so that helps, but a big World Series could get them an extra year or some serious extra cash.

9. The fun police.  With Brian McCann out of the playoffs, the duty of fun police relies solely on the Cardinals.  They took exception to some celebrating by the Dodgers in the NLCS, so how will they feel about the Red Sox enthusiasm and celebrations?  Will this create some tension in the series??

10. The Red Sox went from worst to first.  Yes this happened, but it will be talked about much more than it should be.  So I propose a drinking game, take a shot for every time this is mentioned, and a double shot if John Farrell is mentioned as the only reason for this (if you're of age of course), and let us know how drunk you get.

Enjoy October baseball, because as we all know I'm a Cubs fan, and I can't